Rand Paul keeps Christ in his heart

And I just deposited my digested breakfast in the plastic bag dangling at my feet.

Seriously, I’ve never seen a political season more … stupid than this one. And Kentucky takes the prize. Mazel Tov.

To recap: First, a Democrat tool named Jack Conway, trailing in the polls and sinking like a rock-encased rock, releases this ludicrous advertisement. It oozes desperation, and should not—in any circumstances—be taken seriously:

Of course, Politics 2010 being a place where fools reign and morons follow, Paul responded. But it’s how he responded that oozes pathetic. The point he didn’t make—the one he should have made—was that Conway is an evil piece of cow shit and religion has no place in politics. I’m running for the U.S. Senate, not Pope. I’m a Christian, I go to church, I love God—now let’s get serious about this race.

But, no. That would be too logical. Too sensible. And because politicians believe (know) most of us are brain-devoid sheep, anxious to follow the nearest dangling carrot (or even a rusted spoon that’s painted orange to look like a carrot), Rand Paul fights back. With this:

Look, one day I might like to run for office again. And I know—without question—this blog will be the end of me (talk about supplying an opponent with bullets). But this whole I’m-more-Christian-than-you-are cluster fuck from the depths of hell is, to be blunt, sinful. Yeah, I’m a New York Jew. But I spent considerable time living in the deep south (Nashville), and many people there don’t want someone throwing Jesus in their faces. Not an elected official, at least.

This, however, is where we are; what we’re stuck with.

If I live in Kentucky, I’m voting Monte Brewster.

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