In Memory of Bianca Webster: From the Class of 1994: Part II

A little more than a month ago I wrote this post, about a stone in front of my son’s elementary school honoring the memory of a deceased student named Bianca Webster.

Today, in an incredible twist of … something, I received this haunting e-mail:

Hi Sir,
I read your blog about: While my kids were climbing a tree outside the local elementary school yesterday afternoon, I spotted a small rectangular stone with this message:
IN MEMORY OF BIANCA WEBSTER
FROM THE CLASS OF 1994

I believe that the then elementary aged child is daughter. I’m not sure If it is my child.  If you’re talking about a school in [BLANK], NY.
I like to share  a few things about my Bianca. She was a daddy’s girl.

She loved me very much. And I loved her. I know you’ve stated that you didn’t know Bianca Webster.

But I still want to thank you for taking notice of her.  Bianca was  in 5th grade when she passed away, she was 10  at the time. Which means, in 2010, “YES” she’d be a full-grown adult, 25- or 28-years old, perhaps with a husband … kids … a career … a life.

Sir, I wasn’t in New York when Bianca passed away. I was living in Virginia. Bianca’s mother and I were not together. Although Bianca and I had  a very good relationship, her mother and I were very kind to one another when I called on the phone or visited Bianca in New York.

Bianca’s mother apparently did not keep contact information about me. My Bianca had all of my info like phone numbers and addresses in her bedroom.

Sir, I did not find out about Bianca death until  she was already buried.

Due in-part to Bianca’s  aunt going through her things in her bed room finding my phone number and calling me.

You know, after all of these years, I still have not gone to visit Bianca’s grave.
I don’t know, for a time it was I didn’t have the money to go to New York from Texas-where I live now. And perhaps I just could not come to conclude that my baby girl is dead.

I’m not sure why I’m sharing so very much of my personal life to you. Maybe it’s God way of bring me closer to going to New York to see my Bianca’s grave.

So, thanks for sharing. I like to ask you to hold your children close, tell them that you love them everyday. And show them that you love them every second, every minute, every hour of each day.

V/R,
Darrell Lewis-San Antonio, Texas ( Bianca’s Dad)

13 thoughts on “In Memory of Bianca Webster: From the Class of 1994: Part II”

  1. WOW, this truly gave me goose bumps. Sounds like he wants closure and hopefully you can help him in some way. That is of course if you feel comfortable. I will become a dad real soon, so this really touched me. As always, thanks so much for sharing.

  2. Obviously very touching, but I worry for this man’s privacy if you did not consult him about posting this….This man bares his sole to you and your response is to post it on your blog for public viewing? Was his message meant to be public?

  3. I’m with DG. I hope you asked his permission before you posted this.

    Clearly not a sophisticated person by the writing, would never even occur to him, writing in his grief, that this is what you would do.

  4. Ten comments and no one is the slightest bit skeptical? If this man and Bianca’s mother were cordial, why was he not contacted when she died? Why would Bianca have his info. but not Bianca’s mother? And why doesn’t this man know how old his daughter would have been? He said “25-” or “28-years old,” but if she was 10 in 1994, she’d be 26 or 27 now, not 25 or 28. Quite odd.

  5. Hi Jeff,
    I took a little time out today to view your blog.

    A blogger name Joe wrote on
    November 2nd, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    “Why was he not contacted when she died? Why would Bianca have his info. but not Bianca’s mother? And why doesn’t this man know how old his daughter would have been? He said “25-” or “28-years old,” but if she was 10 in 1994, she’d be 26 or 27 now, not 25 or 28. Quite odd.”

    Answer: I don’t why Bianca’s mother did not have my info handy. However, I do know that in her grieving she did not want to talk to anybody. Not even her mother, or closes of friends.
    Perhaps it would have been nice to have received a personal call from Bianca’s mother. But, then again, maybe not! What could she say to me?

    “I just call to say that Bianca is dead!”
    As to Bianca’s age-how old she would be currently: I simply copied the age information posted on the blog in agreement that she would be in that general age range, because, yes, my privacy. That’s all!
    Please believe, I know how old my child would be.
    Jeff, my Bianca died three days before Christmas, Ok? And that was not an easy end of a year to get through. But by the grace of God I got though it. The years that followed were especially hard. At one point I blocked out Bianca’s death date completely. I did not want to remember, nor could I tell you the date she died. So Perhaps Bianca’s mother may, or may not have had reason for not contacting me.
    I don’t know, and I really don’t care to judge her. All I know is that, that my baby girl is gone.
    And that’s all I have to say about that!

    Jeff I don’t have any control over what people blog on your page, so I will take it for what it is.
    “A BLOG!” And a pretty good blog at that!
    I like to thank you again for having kept Bianca’s memory alive. You are a world class man in my book.
    Jeff I do not require a response from Blogger: JOE, I pray that Joe understands that I will not put all of my personal business out there for public view and rake through. Peace…
    Darrell Lewis-San Antonio, Texas-Bianca’s dad

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