JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Constaria

One of my goals in life has been to create a word.

That goal has come true.

For years, I’ve been using the word constaria around the house, and while the wife ignores it and the kids just shake their heads, I know genius when I hear it. and constaria is genius. Brilliant. Amazing.

What, you ask, is constaria?

Answer: That feeling when you really, really, really have to go to the bathroom, yet nothing comes out. In other words, the stubborn refusal of the bowel to discharge.

Constaria.