Photo of the night

In my life, I have only posed once for a photograph with a cheerleader. In was in 1990, when I was 18 and covering a high school cheerleading camp for my local paper, The Putnam Trader.

One of the instructors was Tammy Fitzsimmons, a University of Texas cheerleader. A photographer asked, “Want a picture taken?” and I suppose I said yes. Still have the photo—gawky, geeky teenaged Jeff with a woman 100,000 miles out of his league. Funny.

The photo above reminded me of that experience, as well as a valuable lesson I’ve learned through the years: Never pose for a photograph with cheerleaders.

1. You inevitably look like the fool who can’t get a date but feels great being seen with hotties who are only with you for a peripheral reason (He’s ordering wings; he has a lot of money; he’s with his best friend, Nick Lachey).

2. There’s a mutual understanding that you only want to partake in the photograph because the women are hot. There’s no skill involved, and you could care less that they know Grant Hill. They’re hot. They’re dressed in cheerleader outfits. Photo.

3. Cheerleaders are the masters of fleeting, Grade-Y celebrity. We rarely know their first names, let alone their last. They are in the spotlight because they fit the suits and dance sexy. A year from now they’ll be back in dental school or college or whatever, lost in the real world.