Whenever I go to the gym at night, I seem to find myself on an exercise machine watching the latest episode of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
It’s a riveting show, chock full o’ egomaniac faded celebrities battling substance abuse, fame, the lack of fame, mortality, etc. The star of the program, however, isn’t Jeremy London (Party of Five hunk) or Eric Roberts or Janice Dickinson. It’s Dr. Drew, the therapist who runs the whole thing and whose dry stylings and sought-out insights pave the way toward sobriety.
Man, do I loathe this man.
This isn’t personal—strictly professional. As the husband of a social worker and the son of a subtance abuse specialist, I feel comfortable in saying that the way Dr. Drew exploits people battling addiction is sickening. To begin with, rehab is an insanely personal experience. To go through it properly, one has to block out outside distractions and focus solely on the self. So how does this gig work? The celebs—almost all of whom are addicted to fame—are asked to go through rehab … in front of cameras!? Furthermore, all of their one-on-one (so to speak) sessions with Dr. Drew are aired. So there’s no intimacy; no privacy. Nothing.
Of all my Dr. Drew complains, the one that trumps all is his apparent need for fame. The other day I heard him analyzing Tiger Woods’ addictions, and how disappointed he was that “Tiger” didn’t do so and so. Dude, you’ve never met Tiger Woods. You’ve certainly never treated Tiger Woods. What sort of half-baked therapist analyzes a client he’s never had?
Seriously, so unprofessional, so loathsome.