Girl v. Boy

I have two kids. My daughter is 7, my son is 4. They’re both wonderful, both inventive, both my joys. When I walk into the house and hear shouts of “Deedee! Deedee!” I melt. (They call me “Deedee.” I’m not sure why. My daughter came up with it, and it stuck).

Recently I was talking with a friend about children, and girl v. boy, and puberty expectations. Specifically, how will you feel when you find out that one of the kids—way, way, way down the road—has had sex. My answer is unfair, but (in my heart) true.

Let’s say my 17-year-old-high-school-junior daughter has sex. It can be with a boyfriend, it can be hooking up at a party, it can be in her bedroom, at a hotel after a prom … whatever. No matter the situation, I’m pissed. That’s a violation of my daughter; the girl I raised from diapers; the girl whose hand I held as she crossed streets; the girl who used to wear princess dresses and her mother’s dress shoes. Sex? No. No. No.

Now, let’s say my 17-year-old-high-school-junior son has sex. It can be with a girlfriend, it can be hooking up at a party, it can be in his bedroom, at a hotel after a prom … whatever. No matter the situation, I’m concerned. Very concerned. But, knowing that he used protection and was respectful of his partner and all that, well, a small part of me has a little of the ol’ ‘Way to go, son!’ attitude.

Is that righteous? Definitely not. But I imagine that’s the way I’ll be.

Sigh.

PS: On a side note: Boy, was I off about the Jets and trash talking. Hey, whatever works. And, somehow, it worked.

10 thoughts on “Girl v. Boy”

  1. Kind of a weak way to address the Jets win, considering all the words inked leading up to the game. Not looking for an “apology” or any big mea culpa, but some accountability would be nice, given the strong and definitive words chosen in last week’s posts.

    1. James, no offense but that’s so cliche. It’s just sports, come day’s end. And, truth be told, the accountability doesn’t come in me saying, “Oh, I was wrong about the Jets.” (obviously). It comes in people seeing my column, with my name atop, and thinking, “He sure blew that one.” I’ve never understood why writers, in the eyes of readers, need to apologize or “man up” when they get a prediction wrong. Hell, their names are right there for all to see and mock.

  2. Jeff, it’s not about getting a simple game prediction wrong — that happens on a weekly (daily?) basis and there’s no need for people to “man up” about that. If you simply said “Pats 35, Jets 17, Jets lose is my prediction. Good night.”, that’s one thing. But you devoted thousands of words to the topic and were so confident that the team wasn’t really very good (despite plenty of evidence to the contrary). You even dropped some f-bombs into the pieces, so it seemed like you felt realllllly strong about it.

    I don’t have a big problem with a writer failing to “man up” after being so wrong about something — but only if said writer doesn’t make a habit of pointing out the things he gets “right”. You are such a writer and it seems a little weak to point out the “right” predictions while brushing aside the “wrong”.

    I’ve also found that looking at predictions-gone-wrong is a great way to evaluate oneself. Auditing our predictions is useful for improving our analysis. Ignoring them without any consideration doesn’t add much value; doesn’t improve the analysis in the future.

    1. truth is, james, there’s very little room for improvement, and it doesn’t even matter much. come day’s end, it’s just sports. 🙂

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