Today’s column: II

Ever since the column on tracking down dillweed anonymous posters came out Friday morning, I’ve been hearing references to the so-called “Jay and Silent Bob scene.” I saw the flick, but that was a long time ago … didn’t remember much of it.

Alas, found the clip. Two, actually. And they’re perfect.

The reaction has actually been riveting: I’d say 90% supportive, 10% (largely anonymous) dolts ripping me. Cowards. My favorite, hands down, was someone who would only identify himself as “Heff.” On this blog, he initially wrote:

Man I read that article on CNN and laughed so hard. I love reading about idiots like you. Do you honestly think that you’re above criticism because you’re a writer? I mean maybe you wouldn’t get criticism if you didn’t write awful pieces. I hope you track me down I’ll tell you to shove it in front of my mom.

I responded with: OK, so provide your real e-mail address, tough guy …

Which prompted Heff to write:

What are you possibly going to say in an e-mail that you can’t say in this comment section?

Once again, I responded: wow. that is, by far, the wussiest moment of the day. you just said “i hope you track me down.” e-mail, please …

Heff then wrote:

How am I a wussy when you can’t even say what you want on this comment page, yet can rant on about something else in an article and cant handle criticism? THEN, call some teenage kids mom because you were felt bullied. Obviously you’re trying to get my information or e-mail me something inappropriate. Also, I’m neither going to give your creep-self my e-mail nor put it on a comment page for everyone to have. Booyakasha. I’m out.

Literally, the guy went from asking for a confrontation to slinking out the back door.

Typical. And pretty entertaining.

No biggie, Heff.

18 thoughts on “Today’s column: II”

  1. And Heff doesn’t even get that it isn’t the criticism you mind, but the mindless unintelligent slams from cretins who use their anonymity to belittle others. This parallels the national discussion on civility. It isn’t that hard to criticize without being uncivil, so why the need to put others down instead of having an intelligent discussion?

  2. Dear Mr Pearlman,

    We enjoyed your piece on your hunt for your online haters.

    Would you have time today (Sunday) to discuss this with BBC Radio?

    Newshour is on air at 3pm Eastern and we’d could maybe record something with you between now and then?

    I’m on +44 207 557 2141 if you’d like to call.

    Yours sincerely,

    ps – tried to email you and use your contact form but both bounced

  3. In Defense of Anonymous Jerks

    I’m posting this anonymously (or at least trying to). I do so all the time, and one reason is because I don’t want people tracking me down or emailing me or putting me on some list, etc. Another reason I post this way is simply because I disagree with the common notions of “decency.”

    For example, I’m a Christian – but I disagree with the “rules” about curse words they impose without biblical basis.

    In your case, I read over your article and skimmed your blog, and it seems to me that you are overly sensitive – too easily offended. Am I wrong to think of you as a “wuss”? Maybe. But maybe you’re also wrong to label people don’t communicate the way you like as “mean.” Either way it doesn’t matter, because for now … the ‘sensitive’ types like you – have the moral high ground in the eyes of a society that has grown increasingly sensitive.

    When I was young, we had an expression, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” These days this kind of thinking is archaic, and no one seems to think that it’s important to raise young people to be resilient. Rather, we train young people to be ‘politically correct.’ The ordinary term for African Americans has changed FIVE times in my lifetime. Homosexuals have changed what they want to be called a couple times, and now I’m still not sure what word to use, so I get to the point I just say “f-it,” and call you all “the r-word.”

    It’s fascinating to me that you posted the pictures with the text you did about Al Davis. I would argue that he’s obviously not a nice guy, but can he help his looks? You, on the other hand, CAN help the stuff you write … AND, you’re a professional communicator (unlike most of us anonymous posters).

    So I post anonymously because I know for a fact that it’s likely I’ll break some sensitive person’s rules, and for today, the sensitive types hold the high-ground, and I don’t want to bruise your tender feelings and have you then call my house and ask me why I’m so mean-spirited.

    And while I’m on a roll … I read daily, and I loathe Wertheim’s writing – he wrecks tennis (my favorite sport), and is below SI standards. But I dare not write to him and say he su(k$, right?

    Also KISS blows – always has. But Simmons & Stanley are business geniuses that put together a rock version of a boy-band to make money, and they succeeded in duping lots of musically challenged morons (and 3 year olds). But I’d better not write that, or you’ll burst into tears and wonder why I can be so hateful, right?

    The truth is far from your claim. You WRITE that you don’t mind criticism, it just has to be done in a certain way – but that’s not the truth. The truth is that you haven’t yet learned to use criticism to your own advantage, and instead you burst into tears and cry for the modern equivalent of momma when people are anonymously “mean” to you.

    Is it mean to call you a hypersensitive little girl?

  4. Nicely done Jeff! The long winded poster is such a such a confused double standard – we can forgive his ignorance. That’s the Christian thing to do.

  5. Is there a large difference in some of the things people say to you and you calling Sarah Palin a “F#cking Idiot”. I realize you’re not saying it annonymously but is it something you would actually say while engaged in conversation with her. By writing it on this blog you’re free to name call and not deal with the consequences of how she might react. I’m not arguing with your charcterization her but feel once one reverts to calling names they’ve lost the argument. I’m assuming you, like many of us, are frustrated and dumbfounded by some of the things she’s done and lash out in a quick blog post.

    I agree that these scenarios are not a perfect corollary but would like to hear your thoughts.

  6. No, Jeff, I’m not a traditional Christian – I’m not traditional in any form. Thanks for noticing.

    AG: speaking of ignorance … forgiving it is NOT necessarily the Christian thing to do. Jesus said that if your brother sins against you to rebuke him – then if he repents, forgive him. (Luke 17.3) The solution to ignorance isn’t to whitewash it, overlook it, or forgive it. The honorable thing to do is educate the ignorant, so they’re not ignorant anymore.

    My feeble attempt at education was clearly too long for your attention span, or maybe you just block out anything with which you disagree. That’s too bad, because it means you’ll never learn another point of view.

    This is exactly why most of us anonymous posters simply shorten things to “f- You,” because you’re really not interested in intelligent discussion as Arnold suggests.

    okay, that’s it – I’ll leave you guys alone now. Sorry for bothering. I forgot the old Tennessee adage of my ancestors:

    “never try to teach a pig to sing – it only wastes your time and annoys the pig.”

  7. Aren’t the 90% supportive people also anonymous? Does my email address in the little box really make me NOT anonymous? You can send me an email, you can learn my name. If I disagree with something you write I have credibility now? Grats on the page hits I guess.

  8. From “Andy”:

    “Is Heyman an idiot? No, he’s really an excellent reporter. Is Jeff Pearlman a retard? No, he’s a best selling author. But here’s the bottom line to all writers — don’t write dumb, unsubstantiated things and people won’t call you names or attack your opinions. Fairly simple, is it not? Don’t get offended if people mock you when the articles or tweets that you are writing insult your reader’s intelligence.”

  9. you’re a nationally known columnist who has written multiple New York Times bestsellers, and as far as I can tell have a beautiful and healthy family. Has it really brought you that much personal fulfillment to track down random 23 year olds who send you links to lemonparty on your blog?

  10. you seriously are a queer, you called people up because they hurt your feelings? i could see if they attacked you or your family with photos, video or something. but just words?

    honestly a DDOS attack on your website is being contemplated, not that the 50 views you get a month would care.

  11. Hey Bob – do unto others! Cool it with your BS rhetoric. Now I am done – ps: educate yourself, you are an ignorant fool (AG 2011)

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