Climate change doesn’t exist …

… and that’s why the head of a hammerhead shark being sound off of, ahem, Seattle makes no sense.

Because if climate change did exist, it might explain the increased temperatures of Puget Sound waters attracting some warm water species. And it might explain the alarming melting polar ice caps. And it might explain the unprecedented warming of Lake Tanganyika, the second oldest and the second-deepest lake in the world. And it might explain how 2010 was the hottest year on record. And it might explain how, last August, Greenland’s Petermann glacier’s retreated 15 kilometers, leaving it further inland than it has been since observations began a century ago.

Fortunately, climate change does not exist. It’s an incredible hoax, devised by a team of wicked scientists and the members of the media to stop big business and Fox News from gaining power.

Thank God.

8 thoughts on “Climate change doesn’t exist …”

  1. It really is hard to believe more Americans don’t want the government to continue to give global warming alarmists billions more for research on this very pressing issue. Maybe after the spring thaw.

  2. Dear Mr. Pearlman,

    Global Warming is a hoax. Where is Al Gore when we are buried under snow? He’s been really, really quiet this winter. I can prove all of your arguments false including that the moon controls the tides. All the Dems want to do is cap and tax and American Industry, which is passed on to the folks, so they can say they DIDN’T raise your taxes. Lake Taganyika and Greenland’s Petermann Glacier are NOT American problems and we should not have to PAY for them. Drill Baby Drill!!!!!!!!

  3. The rest of the world is powering through as manufacturing agents, we are merely consumers now that we will not push forward in that area.

    also, wasnt global cooling the big talk in the late 70s and early 80s?

  4. I always get a giggle out of my friends when they post on Facebook how fake global warming is because it’s so cold here at home.

    Funny, they weren’t posting a word during the summer when we experienced record temperatures.

    Why can’t people understand that global warming/climate change affects normal weather patterns that have been tracked for hundreds of years?

  5. a little intellectually dishonest Jeff…we right-wingers don’t deny that climate change exists. We deny that man has had significant affect on the climate. I find it comical that you attribute a 2010 report on Tanganyika and 2010 being a hot year to man made climate change (we all read the invisible “MAN MADE(!!)” before the words “Climate Change”), instead of, say, Eyjafjallajökull. I just find that funny, but hell…I drive an SUV.

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