JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

The suckiness of being a sports writer …

… can be summed up via this video.

Nobody does anything wrong. The coach and players are certainly polite enough. But, having endured, oh, 200 of these, I can only tell you that it is a painfully horrific and soul-sucking experience, akin to coating one’s own body in cheese spread, then unleashing 532 rats.

Press conferences suck for the following reasons:

A. If you have an actual good question, you don’t want to use it during the actual press conference. The hope is, after it’s completed, you’ll get a minute of solo time. So you’re stuck sitting through the monstrosity, waiting.

B. You’re 38-years old with two kids. You were a college athlete yourself, and now you’re a sweater-wearing, pot-bellied, angry sports writer asking questions of 19-year-old kids who, in a year’s time, will be outearning you by roughly $10 million.

C. There’s always a media relations director looming nearby, hovering over the questions, waiting to pounce of something he perceives to be wrongheaded or inappropriate.

D. You are required to call the coach “Coach,” even though he’s not your coach and never will be your coach.

I can go on. And on. And on …