Rough times

Since, as my wife moans, I blog about pretty much everything here, I’ll blog about this.

Friggin’ hemorrhoidal cream. Friggin’ …

Long-time hem sufferer, but I’ve never needed the ol’ cream before. Then I ran a half marathon this past weekend, and something snapped. Any runner with distance under his/her belt will understand the pre-race scene of lining toilet paper on the seat of a nasty port-a-urinal, trying to poop before the big race. You wanna clear out, so you push and push and push and push and push and …

Hemorrhoidal cream.

This sucks. I’m in genuine pain. Went to CVS this evening to buy hemorrhoidal cream. Had to ask the 18-year-old clerk where it is. She literally said, “That’s for feet, right?” I just nodded, then searched on my own. Found it, paid—sorta reminded me of the first time I bought condoms, shuffling awkwardly, hmm, heh, hmm, heh.

Friggin’ hemorrhoidal cream.

PS: About the half-marathon. Beast of a race. Did it out of jealousy—the wife has been running a lot, and I get jealous. Feel like I’m missing out. So, despite probably running a whopping six times (total) this winter, I signed up for the hilliest half I’ve ever run. Wound up pullinh out a 1:45—slow for my general standards, fantastic for the crud running shape I’m in.

5 thoughts on “Rough times”

  1. I realize that you’re not asking for advice here, but let me give it to you. Buy baby wipes and use them on yourself for the next week or so.

    It will change your life and keep you from traveling down Suppository Road.

  2. Ewwwww! That is so gross, what would posses you to write about this?
    Your wife was NOT complimenting you when she says you blog about everything. She was subtly telling you This is NOT a good topic to write about and the public rightfully does not care about your hemorrhoids!!!!

  3. dunno how…one click led to another…voila, i was reading My bookstore is on death row…

    i’m just sayin – what you said !

    mine was Thackery’s Bookstore at westgate shopping plaza in Toledo, Ohio just after borders opened at the mall, who opened after barnes & noble within 1/4 mile of each other…

    found your site – it’s bookmarked – keep it real…

    joan

    p.s i know this is posted on the wrong article, but your contact jeff tab does not work and if i don’t send this today…well…i’ll forget to compliment you…

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