Speak Fuckin’ English

Plopped down at the beach today. Was a family next to us. Guy was chubby, with a patch (for smoking) on his shoulder and a tattoo on his ankle. Three words, inked in red, white and blue:

SPEAK

FUCKIN’

ENGLISH

I wanted to give the guy a grammar quiz, just for kicks. Not that I’m so amazing at grammar, but I’ve never gotten the feeling that the SPEAK FUCKIN’ ENGLISH movement is led by particularly intelligent people. Truth is, those who should be requesting PLEASE SPEAK FUCKIN’ ENGLISH are America’s public school teachers, who surely run into learning barriers with those children whose parents don’t converse in English at home.

This guy was clearly no teacher. He was, I’m guessing, just another dolt looking for a reason to hate. Oddly, he wore an enromous cross from his neck—an oddball contradiction on a beach filled with them. This is just a guess from a New York Jew, but I’m thinking Jesus wouldn’t be wearing SPEAK FUCKIN’ ENGLISH ink on his leg.

But maybe I’m wrong.

14 thoughts on “Speak Fuckin’ English”

  1. That’s… Awesome. I live in a town where I am the minority because I can’t speak spanish. I realize that’s almost understandable considering I live on a border town, buti did know this one old mexican man that told me he learned english when he became a citizen because this is America and that is our language. He told me that if he wanted to speak spanish he’d go home. I loved him for that.

  2. I cannot agree with you on this one. We should not have to adopt to people who come here. They should have to adopt to us. When our ancestors came here they tried to fit in not the other way around.

  3. Some day I’m gonna get my ass kicked because I’m gonna walk up to a guy like that and politely ask him to reconcile the Holy Cross and the message of hate.

  4. A cross does not mean you are a Christian. All sorts of people wear crosses, many just to offend Christians.
    Saw a picture of Lindsay Lohan with a cross ring.
    Madonna wore the cross.
    I do wish people would speak English more often. Let me explain.
    I have some bilingual friends. Why is it when I am with them they chose to speak Spanish. Their English is fine, but by speaking Spanish it leaves me out of the conversation.
    One friend goes with me to a Mexican upper end fast food joint. He talks to the lady in Spanish, she eventually tells him she can’t keep up with his Spanish.
    The next time we go back he does it again. You can see the glazed look on her face. I have to tell him to speak English.

  5. muhammed goldstein

    [4] Mike, I believe you mean “adapt” and not “adopt”. Also, America is supposed to be a “melting pot”. Why is there not room for everyone to speak their own language with their own people? As far as I remember, all schools, courts, government houses and most businesses are still in English..

    Anyone with that tatoo is a fuckin’ moron and best avoided.

  6. That tattoo is like making fun of Amish people in the movies….they’ll never see it.
    I don’t understand why YOU think it’s offensive. The people who SHOULD be offended by it won’t be because they are TOO LAZY to LEARN how speak our language.

    This message was brought to you by the English language….the OFFICIAL language of the USA!!!

  7. Bobby– how is the man with the tattoo being censored by Jeff in any way?

    It seems like some people are missing the point here: it’s not about whether people should learn the language or not (Jeff himself posted something mildly critical ~3 weeks ago about Latino ballplayers not learning English), but about the mentality of a person who would have that specific message tattooed on their body. That’s the FIRST thing that person wants to broadcast about themselves: they have no tolerance for other languages, and they’ve got no problem shouting profanity (not literally) in public. How intelligent, let’s be honest, is a guy who tattoos SPEAK FUCKIN’ ENGLISH on his leg for all to see? How much, for that specific person, is it about his love for the English language versus an irrational level of anger toward whole groups of people (that is, you could want immigrants to speak English, but the tattoo suggests a level of rage not commensurate with the offense).

    Okay, this comment is longer than the original post, I think. Time to stop.

  8. to be clear, re: my comment above– when I say, “How intelligent, let’s be honest, is a guy who tattoos SPEAK FUCKIN’ ENGLISH on his leg for all to see?” that judgment isn’t politically motivated. It’s the same thing I think when I drive behind someone who has Truck Nutz hanging from their vehicle, or who would get a tattoo on their shoulder saying something like “I”M A BIG FUCKIN’ DEAL!”

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