JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Green Lantern—pfft

So the reviews are pretty unanimous—The Green Lantern blows. Not exactly a shocker, but as an ol’ superhero guy I had some hope that $150 million would make a decent flick.

What fascinates me is this: Our need, as humans, to give life to the inanimate. In other words: Green Lantern cups, mugs, straws, toys, towels, hats, glasses, roller coasters, cards, medallions. All for a person—the Green Lantern (aka Hal Jordan) who doesn’t exist. Literally, the Green Lantern is a character, played by an overpaid Grade-B actor named Ryan Reynolds. So why do we get excited for a two-hour story? Why do we get so stoked?

Honestly, I have no idea.

I also love all the marketing/media efforts that go into convincing us that we need to see this movie. The ads; the interviews; the publicists (always Jenni with a heart over the i); the radio boobs getting all excited.

It’s. Just. A. Movie.

Man, we are so bored …