JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Make cigarettes illegal

I can’t believe I just typed that headline, but I did.

Cigarettes should be illegal.

This might surprise some of my Republican readers … the idea that I’m conflicted about government involvement (In other words, I’m a typical Democrat). But, truth be told, I’m not thrilled by the idea of the federal government issuing sweeping laws and regulations that impact personal lives. Hell, I was initially against the New York City ban on cigarettes in bars and restaurants, because I felt—at the time—that establishments should have the right to determine their own policy (I’ve changed since then … and I also love not smelling like a friggin’ Camel when I leave a pub). However, here we are, in 2011, and there’s just no good reason for the cigarette industry to exist.

1. It kills: Literally, it kills people. Hundreds of thousands of people every year. With zero redeeming benefits. I mean, too much sun causes cancer—but the sun also keeps the earth sustainable. Cars kill, but they get us around. Cigarettes destroy your lungs, your durability, your looks, your scent, they damage those around you.

• Croppers: I know, in North Carolina, Dems and Repubs fight for the tobacco industry, because it keeps the state afloat. But, well, tough shit. It’s the same as anti-clean air bozos bemoaning how regulations to keep X and Y chemicals out of the environment will damage job growth. When it comes to the health and happiness of people, well, fuck job growth. Look toward new industry.

• Teens: Teens are the people who start smoking. They somehow think it’s cool, rebelious, sexy, etc. The cigarette companies know this; prey on them. It’s criminal.

Anyhow, I’m babbling. The above photo depicts images that will soon be placed on packs of cigarettes. I’m thrilled—and the industry is livid. But to hell with them—they’re the devil.

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