JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Tim Pawlenty: Vote for me, and all sorta of bad shit will happen!

Uh … really? This is when you know the 2012 presidential election is gonna be one wacky ride—when a leading (sorta) Republican candidate pays big bucks for a commercial that brags about shutdowns and strikes on his watch.

Seriously, if one didn’t know any better he’d think this to be a very strong anti-Tim Pawlenty ad. But it’s not. Tim paid for it himself.

I actually find Pawlenty’s efforts to be—without fail—pathetic. Perhaps that’s because it mimics my runs for office back at Mahopac Junior High and Mahopac High School. I actually campaigned for student government five times—and never won. Seriously, five elections, five shutouts. Why? Because I was a geek and nobody wanted me. I’d break out different slogans, different ideas—always the same. No go.

Pawlenty is Jeff Pearlman: 2012 version. The guy announced very early on that he’s running, and from that day forward he’s been greeted with all the buzz of a blown nose. I’m guessing 95 percent of the country—maybe even more—wouldn’t recognize him by face or name.