In the history of modern America, no phrase has been misused with such audacious inanity than “making history.” ESPN has actually perfected the artform, insisting that some third-rate athlete just “made history” by becoming the first Oklahoma City Thunder guard to hit six-straight three-pointers while standing on the left side of the court on a Thursday in November. It’s truly ridiculous—just because someone is the first to do something, or just because someone accomplishes a noteworthy feat, doesn’t mean we’re actually witnessing history.
Hell, I’d argue (strongly) that, by winning the World Series this year, the St. Louis Cardinals did not make history. The World Series was played in 2010. It will be played in 2012. Someone will win, someone will lose. It’s happened, literally, dozens upon dozen of times. Interesting? Perhaps. Attention-grabbing? Sure. Headline-worthy? Absolutely.
Historic? No, no, no.
In that spirit, I bring to you the greatest misuse of “making history” I’ve ever seen. Here’s the video …
The merging of the New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys isn’t history, or even slightly historic. Fuck, if we’re gonna be honest, it’s a travesty that—were there a God—could have been avoided. To merge a pair of dreadful, lip-synching has-been boy bands on one stage is as unhistoric as unhistoric gets. It’s a three-game hitting streak by Scott Flectcher. It’s a Jojo B-side. It’s the George Washington Bridge upping its toll by a quarter.
If anything, it’s anti-history.