In my status as a Z-list celebrity, right behind Mike O’Berry and Denis Mandel on the fame rankings (but clearly ahead of Roger Menache), I get recognized by face, oh, once a year. It usually takes place somewhere completely random. Once, I was sitting in the robot store at the Palisades Mall. Another time I was writing in a coffee shop. Again, it rarely happens.
However, it did happen the other day. And, man, was it humiliating …
So as I’ve discussed myriad times, authors move books. Literally. When I’m in a store, and I see my books poorly placed, I lift them up, do a little two-step shuffle and relocate them to prime real estate. That’s exactly what I was doing on Friday at the Barnes & Noble in Yonkers, N.Y. About 10 copies of Sweetness were buried way back on a table in the rear of the store. So, after locating them, I casually picked a bunch up and slowly, gracefully placed them on the NEW table up front.
It was at this moment, placing down the books, when I was approached by a dude in a Mets hat.
“Is that your book?”
Uh …
“You’re Jeff Pearlman, right?”
I was stunned. Beyond stunned. And mortified. Beyond mortified. So I did what any person in my shoes would have. “Uh, no,” I said.
“Wow,” he replied. “You look just like him.”
Glub.
