2011

Gangster

My neighbor’s daughter lost her scarf today. I found it.

I’ve been asked by expecting parents about the keys to being a good father. I guess there’s responsibility, love, dedication, selflessness. On and on.

Number one, however, must be humor. Kids are odd and crazy creatures. If you can’t jump in and have some fun, you’re lost. Totally lost.

By the way, amazing day of sledding today. Went to a local golf course, where the hill was steep, long and fast. I’ll be as sore as a battered mule tomorrow morning, but midway through I was euphoric. Again, fun, joy, adventure. The best part of being a dad is having the excuse to still be a kid …

Wonder Woman

My daughter was asking about Wonder Woman this morning. Did a little YouTube search, found this.

How did this ever fly as a TV show?

Superman: II

While writing that post about the disappointment of Superman, I started thinking about a story I’d heard about the kid who played baby Man of Steel in the original flick.

His name was Lee Quigley, and—at age 14 in 1991—he died while doing a whippet with an aerosol can.

According to the world’s Superman geeks, there’s a curse following the whole industry. This, from an old message board:

The people in superman movies,shows and etc could be cursed too.
The Fleischer Brothers
Max and David Fleischer are two brothers who created a studio that produces Fleischer Superman cartoons. Sometime after showing the film, Flescher brothers began to quarrel with one another that causes the studio fell into financial difficulties that forced sale to Paramount Studios. David finally able to resume his career as an advisor to the special effects at Universal Studios, but Max died in destitute conditions.

Kirk Alyn
Kirk Alyn played Superman in two films in the 1940s. After he played the movie, his acting career finished because it was considered too synonymous with the character of Superman. Eventually he retired and moved to Arizona.

He appeared as a cameo in the 1978 film Superman as Lois Lane’s father. In 1999, he died after contracting the disease Alzhiemer.

Margot Kidder
Margot Kidder is playing opposite Christopher Reeve, who plays the central character, Lois Lane. After playing in the movie, he was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

In April 1996, he disappeared for several days and found by police in a state of paranoia and delusions.

Marlon Brando
Marlon Brando is a famous Hollywood actor who played Jor-El, Clark Kent’s biological father in the film Superman: The Movie (1978). Marlon experienced many tragedies in her life.

In May 1990, Brando’s first son, Christian, shot and killed Dag Drollet, stepsister Christian lover, Cheyenne Brando, in his home in Beverly Hills. Christian claims that the incident was an accident. However, the court ruled 10 years in prison for him. Christian died 18 years later at the age of 49 years.

In 1995, Cheyenne is still depressed over the death of Dag Drollet suicide by hanging himself. He was only 25 years.

Marlon Brando’s own experience of life that is not less difficult. Since the number of tragedies in his life, he began to alienate himself from the glitzy Hollywood. On July 1, 2004, Brando died at age 80 due to pulmonary fibrosis. He is also known to suffer from liver cancer, heart failure and diabetes, which caused him almost blind.

Lee Quigley
Lee Quigley played baby Kal-El in the Superman films of 1978.

He died in March 1991 at a very young age, which is 14 years old, from inhaling harmful gas aerosols.

Richard Pryor
Richard Pryor plays a villain in the movie Superman III. Three years later, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He died on December 10, 2005 from heart failure.

Mariel Hemingway
Mariel Hemingway is one of the artists who play in the movie Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987). On July 2, 1996, Mariel sister named Margaux was found dead of an overdose. He was 41 years old. Although the event was considered a suicide, Mariel did not believe him.

Mark Pillow
Mark Pillow is the actor who played Nuclear Man in the movie Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987). That role is his first debut in acting. However, after that role, his career finished and never plays the movie again.

Similar fate was experienced John Haymes Newton, Gerard Christopher and Stacy Haiduk who played Superboy in the series between 1988 – 1992.

Lex Luger
Lex Luger is a pro wrestler who ever appeared in a role in the movie New Superboy in 2007. He then suffered nerve damage that made him paralyzed.Remember SuperBoy why would he be cursed? beacuse If you play the strongest man on Earth, you will either die an untimely death or end up in the weakest position possible.

Lane Smith
Lane Smith played Perry White, the boss of Clark Kent and Lois Lane in TV series Lois & Clark. Later, he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s rare disease and died on June 13, 2005.

Jeph Loeb
Jeph Loeb, writer TV series Smallville, lost her son, Sam Loeb, due to cancer.

My greatest movie disappointment …

… might have been Superman Returns, which came out nearly five years ago.

When I first saw the above trailer I thought, “Yes! Right! Yes!” I loved the idea of ignoring the final two Superman films (Superman III—dumb. Superman IV—unwatchable), which both sucked, as well as the utterly inane Supergirl flick. This looked to have it all: Authenticity, a proper continuation of the saga, Marlon Brando, better special effects, etc …

When the movie came out, I went with my dad. And, man, did I want to love it. I mean, I grew up a superhero junkie. Anything Superman, Flash, Batman, Wonder Twins … I just ate up. So I couldn’t wait for Superman Returns, which …

Stunk. Well, not stunk. But it was extremely dull, with wooden acting and a stupid plot.

Bummer.

Help wanted: Inquire within

According to TMZ, in the leadup to the Super Bowl Dallas (of all cities) is in need of …

More footballs? No.

More burgers? No.

More Romo jerseys? Definitely no.

What Dallas needs is more … strippers. Dallas? The strip joint capital of America (some would argue Tampa wins this one, but I’d favor Dallas. Not that I would, ahem, know). According to John Walsh of Showtime Cabaret, “his fine establishment employs 50 lovely ladies … but he’s in the market for another 100-120 lap dancers to get down for the big weekend — STAT!”

Honestly, knowing Dallas as I do from Boys Will Be Boys, I’m shocked by this. Seriously, there are more strip clubs in Big D than there are Waffle Houses. And, man, are there a shitload of Waffle Houses.

PS: I’ve probably been to five strip clubs in my life. Two or three for bachelor parties, once when I was a Tennessean intern, once for Cowboys “research.” I’d rather be coated with 1,000 vipers than be the guy in the above photo. Just sayin’.

Winter Hell: 2011

Scenes from a driveway. Neighbors hired people to dig everything out.

Not the Pearlmans.

Death Row, Motherf—er …

Death Row.

PS: If you’re wondering to yourself, “Why does a New Yorker own a Texas Tech Tennis T-shirt?”—Marshall’s, $10.


Erin Andrews: II

A brilliant response from a friend of mine …
Once again Jeff, why don’t you exhibit the same type of disdain for ESPN’s Kenny Mayne? The same Kenny Mayne who was the first ESPN reporter to appear on Dancing With the Stars (two seasons prior to Erin). The same Kenny Mayne who was also …a finalist for the syndicated version of the game show Deal or No Deal. The same Kenny Mayne who appeared on the pilot episode of the CBS game show The Pilot of 10, which was later hosted by Drew Carey. The same Kenny Mayne who has endorsement deals with Top Flight Golf Balls (conflict of interest given that he is a sports anchor) and Progressive Insurance; Mayne has appeared in commercials for both products. The same Kenny Mayne who appeared in the 2010 film Kung Foo Magoo. Given all of this, why is Mayne not also considered a joke as it relates to journalistic integrity? Why isn’t he being taken to task for his questionable professionalism and performance? Seems to me, Mayne slid down the slippery slope between journalism and self promotion/entertainment a long time ago. But because he isn’t a hot chick in heels and a short skirt who is infiltrating the wide wide world of sports journalism he’s given a break? Puuuuuhlease.