JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Where should Norma shit?

Hello, I’m the guy whose dog shits in your front yard.

I’m not exactly sure what to do about this. I take Norma for a walk every morning, and at some point she needs to go to the bathroom. It might be piss, which kills grass. Or it might be poop, which is brown and lumpy and smells awful.

Either way, you’re never happy.

You stare at me through your window. You point angrily my way. You tell me, “You better clean that up!” Which is stupid, because of course I clean it up. Every. Single. Time. What else am I supposed to do? Norma poops on her own schedule, not mine.

Damn.