The volcano and climate change

There’s a joke I’ve always enjoyed.

Man lives on a volcano, and the thing is about to erupt. A bunch of rescue workers hike up to his house. “Sir, you’ve got to leave. The volcano is about to erupt.”

“No,” the man says, “I know God will protect me.”

Well, lava starts to bubble out of the volcano, and is slowly working its way down the slope. A bunch of hikers are scrambling down the hill, running for their lives. They see the man on his porch. “Sir! Sir!” they yell. “The lava! The lava! Get out of here! Come with us!”

“No,” the man says, “I know God will protect me.”

Finally, the house is surrounded by lava. A chopper flies overhead, and lets down a rope ladder. “Sir, grab the ladder!” he hears from a bullhorn. “We’ll save you!”

“No,” the man says, “I know God will protect me.”

Of course, the lava consumes the house, and the man dies. Next thing he knows, he’s facing God in the afterlife. “Hello, it’s me, God,” He says.

“God, I don’t understand,” the man says, dumbfounded. “I thought you would protect me?”

God looks down at the man with disgust. “Man, I sent you the rescue workers, the hikers, the chopper—what the heck more do you expect from me?”

•••

In case you haven’t noticed, this winter was ludicrous. You know how many times it snowed here in New York? Twice. Twice! Weird things are happening everywhere, and if I hear one more science-doesn’t-exist-to-me twist say, “The climate works in cycles!” I’m gonna vomit. Thanks to the likes to Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh and the GOP and the Fox Crazy Machine, my grandkids will grow up swimming in Buffalo in July. And that’s the best part of this.

Ugh.

I’m just … lost. Nobody cares. Everyone’s distracted. There are things to be done, and nobody is doing them. And the nutjob right-wingers who say everything is God’s plan … well, read the volcano story. Perhaps, in your lingo, this is God telling us to take care of our planet.

Friggin’ damn.

4 thoughts on “The volcano and climate change”

  1. The reason nobody cares isn’t because because god told them not to, it’s because they looked at this with a skeptical eye and realized this was a huge group of people that make huge amounts of money scaring the uninformed(you) by telling them the stuff we exhale has caused the earths temperature to spiral hopelessly out of control. Rotting vegetation creates many times more co2 than we do, and the oceans release many times more than that. If you could set aside your initial emotional response and actually look at this you would at least know there is nothing we can do about climate change, it has always happened and always will.

    1. I’m sorry Doug, but I’ve spent a great amount of time reading about climate change. And I believe you are wrong. And to simply group climate scientists as “a group of people that make … money scaring people” is beyond ludicrous. One could argue the Right media makes much more money having people believe it’s all a hoax.

  2. I believe climate change is very real and very dangerous.
    That being said Eugene Oregon averages about 5 inches of snow a year. We got more than that Wed.
    It has been cold. This year and last have both been cold.
    Still I have memories of warmer and colder years.
    In 1969 3 feet of snow fell in 2-3 days.
    Other years it never froze and flowers were out all year round.
    I’m not sure any kind of conclusion on climate can be made from 1 or 2 season’s of weather.
    Weather patterns don’t change rapidly. I’m hesitant to draw world climate conclusions because of the weather in local areas.
    You do realize Europe got clobbered this year?

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