Urban Meyer and a Gross Lack of Perspective

Screen Shot 2013-08-26 at 10.36.04 PMAccording to a Fox Sports Ohio report, Urban Meyer—head football coach at The* Ohio State University—does not allow anyone wearing blue to attend his team’s practices. Recently at least two NFL scouts, who had the nerve to wear Michigan’s color while catching practices at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center, were ordered to change or leave. Several Buckeye players supposedly shouted at the scouts, too.

In one word: Lame.

In three words: Get a life.

Really, I mean that—get a life. Are you 8, stalking the playground, trying to pick a fight? Is that what passes for a motivational tactic in Columbus, Ohio? Are your players so mentally flaccid that they require this sort of junior high nonsense to gear up for the season? Is Ohio State this pathetic and sad?

Answer: Yes.

I can imagine the scene; some leathery 60-something NFL scout on campus to watch hotshot quarterback or star halfback. He’s standing along the sideline, yet another collegiate visit in three-plus decades of collegiate visits. Suddenly, a shout from behind …

“Hey, dude!”

Wha?

“Dude! Yeah, you—in the blue?”

It’s Eli Apple, the team’s freshman cornerback. The same Eli Apple who was born in 1996. The same Eli Apple who buys the nonsense.

“Dude! Change your shirt or get outta here? We’re Ohio State, baby! The big O!”

Glub.

This is the genre of garbage that gives collegiate sports a bad name. It provides XXXXL self-importance to an endeavor (football) that ranks right behind nasal hair discharging on the world essential list. It turns Meyer into the Jonestown-esque cult leader he aspires to be; the unbending, unyielding provider of all truths. It brigs forth the Us vs. You attitude that, though it *might* help win football games, turns young men into brainless followers, eager to comply sans thought.

* It is impossible not to sound like an undeserved pretentious moron referring to your sub-mediocre, lets-in-pretty-much-anyone-with-a-pulse college as “The Ohio State University.” I attended “The University of Delaware”—a merely OK college that dwarfs Ohio State in all areas but athletics. Even if UD was known as The UD, I’d never be dolt enough to call it such.

14 thoughts on “Urban Meyer and a Gross Lack of Perspective”

  1. Ohio State ranks about 20 spots higher on the U.S. News and World Report college rankings than Delaware, so I’m not really sure what exactly your last paragraph is referencing.

  2. I went to The Drury University & The Duke University School of Law, but I am neither pretentious nor insecure to include “The” when referring to them. Like you, I think they are better schools than OSU.

  3. You sir, obviously have no sense of tradition! You sit there and talk about how dumb and lame and childish Urban Meyer and THE Ohio State Buckeyes are for calling scouts out, it becomes painfully apparent that you don’t have the first inkling of what pride is! These boys are taking tradition seriously and while I will admit that maybe a little more tact could have been used by the players, at least they are showing they love the team and the school they represent! Speaking of childish, this article looks like it could have been written by a 13 year old teenage girl!

    1. The Pride of Curry

      No. Just no. Having pride in a school is one thing–yelling and almost certainly cursing at an NFL scout for daring to wear blue to Ohio State (and I’d put money that the scouts truly didn’t think one thing about it before they left to go to OSU) is among the dumbest things I’ve ever read. Of course, considering Urban Meyer’s past behavior at Florida, none of this is surprising to me. I shouldn’t be shocked that this is condoned by fans of a school who takes pride in the fact that their former abusive head coach refuse to get gas in the state of Michigan he hated them so badly. A story that always struck me as totally goofy.

  4. I agree! I wonder his recruiting would go if the scouts just said, “I’m not putting up with this!” and did not go scout there! Pompous!

  5. Jeff – there is so much to cover here I guess I’ll start at the top.

    The point I think your missing here is the purpose behind a rule like this. As a sports writer you should be well versed in the recent history of OSU. There was a problem of discipline, players were going out and selling team gear, including their golden pants (given to all players after a W over Michigan). In the past this was something that you absolutely did not do.. If you asked me, I’d say Meyer, in an attempt for his players to regain their sense of tradition, instituted this rule. While it is clearly being enforced I would wager it has a more symbolic meaning. Also, you reference “several buckeye players” but only mention a freshman…. A young kid, you think a senior or member of the coaching staff yells at a scout like that? I’d say NO. The fact that you decided to focus on the behavior of a freshman, speaks to just how childish your positions are. What were YOU doing at 18? Playing on a national stage? Or just playing with yourself…..

    As to your claims of schoolyard bullying, your writing reeks of it. What happened? Was urban Meyer getting to much TV time? Thought you could suck on the Ohio State publicity teet?? Seems to me that you felt the need to take a team rule and cast judgement over an entire school and one of the largest alumni bases in the country.

    One word: Lazy

    You make a living reporting on athletes who do things you have never done. Casting judgements over rules born in a locker room that you have never stepped foot in.

    The real gem of this whole piece of mental diarrhea was when you boldly declared that “this genre of garbage is what gives collegiate sports a bad name”. Wow, just wow. Never mind the restructuring of conferences to maximize revenue forcing “student atheltes to travel cross country) or the fact that none of these “amateur” athletes are really compensated… Never mind the fact that the OSU v Michigan rivalry is over 100 years old and going strong…. Jeff Pearlman doesn’t like that he doesn’t get to wear a blue shirt should he ever go to a buckeye practice… Frankly, this style of “writing” is what gives sports journalists a bad name… uninformed, narrow minded, biased dribble that serves no purpose but to raise you profile somehow… Trying for another stint on Jim Rome’s show? Trying to get some publicity before your new book release?

    *I am not even sure how to digest your OSU vs U of D assertions… Where did you pull that nonsense from Jeff? Sub-mediocre? lets in anyone with a pulse? Dwarfs OSU in all areas but athletics? According to current US news ranking, OSU accepts 63% of all applicants and is nationally ranked #56 — U of D accepts 58.2% of all applicants and ranks #75… In what areas does U of D dwarf Ohio State? OSU has graduated 3 Nobel Laureates, 9 Pulitzer prize winners and 1 former president. U of D on the other hand 0 Nobel Laureates, 0 Pulitzer prize winners and 0 former presidents.

    Why such vitriol for the buckeyes Jeff?

    Sincerely,
    Buckeye Nation

      1. You made an ignorant response that barely deserved a fart of acknowledgement. You should be thanking me.

        And while I’m here, Urban Meyer is a low-rent, butt-cut-wearing, chinless p.o.s.

        Anything else on the internet about Ohio get your panties in a wad today?

      2. Wait … wait—Chris Berman is a terrific guy. Seriously. He’s defending his school. I can respect that. No need to get nasty here.

      3. I’m sure he is, and judging by his syntax, an educated one.

        That doesn’t mean that it isn’t Week 1 of College Football season, and therefore the perfect time to start throwing these anonymous barbs at fans of other college teams. I doubt he took my post personally.

  6. Domenico Montanaro

    I guess the Giants, Patriots, Cowboys, Colts, Seahawks, Bears, Lions, Panthers, Bills, Broncos, Rams, Titans and Chargers, won’t be recruiting at Ohio State.

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