Piss and Audacity

Screen Shot 2014-04-18 at 11.47.47 AMWalked into Starbucks a few minutes ago. Needed to use the bathroom. It was empty. Opened the door. Look at the toilet. Saw the above image.

Cleaned it up.

Yup, I cleaned up another person’s piss. Why? Two reasons: A. I needed to use the bathroom. B. Why should it be left to the minimum-wage Starbucks employee to wipe up a guy’s urine? Hell, why should it be left to anyone (besides the actual supplier) to clean up urine? Put differently: Who in God’s name pisses all over a public toilet seat—then thinks, “Eh, I’ll just leave it there?”

Answer: Many, many, many people. I see it all the time. People treat public bathrooms like crack dens, and worry nary an iota about the poor schlubs left to clean up the mess. It’s the height of entitlement, and I’ll never understand it. I always, always, always tell my kids—never make someone’s life more difficult because of your involvement. You produce post-meal crumbs, you clean them up. You play a game with 50p pieces, you put the pieces away. You spray yellow joy all over a toilet seat … you damn well better grab a sponge or napkin and get rid of it.

Alas, my ideas don’t travel well. There are people very content to leave it for others; to walk away with an indifferent shrug.

On behalf of employees everywhere, I say—fuck yourself.

1 thought on “Piss and Audacity”

  1. Sorry about that Jeff, I didn’t realize you were “next.” All kidding aside.. I had similar thoughts while at a “bathroom facility” at the beach yesterday. The restrooms are marked as “unisex.” Although I did not “run” into the same issue that you did at Starbucks I was perhaps as perplexed. And, I HAVE been in those shoes you were wearing and HAVE done the same thing, “on behalf of employees everywhere,..” (HUMANITY!!). I digress. What does one do with the seat when using a “unisex” toilet, especially in a “bathroom” just slightly above the level of an outhouse? I wanted to leave the seat up as chances are a “dude” enters the lav and “goes Starbucks” on the seat. A lady enters and she has to lower the seat, while cursing (ME) and she now is subject to many more aspects of unsanitary conditions. I was torn. I opted to leave it down knowing full well there is that chance that someone “spray yellow joy all over a toilet seat…”

    I had to raise AND lower that damn seat.

    Lived to tell about..

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