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Lint hairs and pubes

Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 4.10.51 PM

So a few minutes ago I entered the local Starbucks to use the bathroom. The above photograph is what I encountered on the base of the toilet.

Four words: Lint hairs and pubes.

I know I can be gross and disgusting and, perhaps, a tad disturbing. But can someone please, please, please explain to me how lint hairs and pubes reach the back of a public toilet? What I mean is, well, I’ve been standing up and urinating for a solid 40-something years, and I can’t recall one moment (ever!) when a hair floated away from my genital region and settled upon a spot at the rear of the toilet. Come to think of it, I can’t recall a hair ever floating away.

Falling? I guess maybe. But wouldn’t it sorta glide downward, and either land in the water or atop the front of the seat? I mean, how does it get that far?

Along those lines, there was an enormous puddle of piss (a word the wife hates) in front of the bowl. Which always gets me thinking: Who takes a leak, misses—and leaves it there for someone else to clean? Someone probably making minimum wage, trying to scrap by? It’s incredibly callous, even though most probably wouldn’t think of it as such. Drives me crazy. Either reach the toilet, or reach down and soak it up. There’s no third option.

OK. I feel better.

PS: Along those lines—there’s a guy here listening to a ballgame on a transistor radio. I see him here quite often, always listening on the ol’ transistor. Which leads to two questions: A. Transistor radios still exist? B. What game can he possibly be listening to? The Mets and Yanks both player later …

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