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Bug killer with your cafe mocha?

"Zappers! Get yet zappers here!"
“Zappers! Get yer zappers here!”

Just saw something uniquely weird.

I’m sitting in New Awakenings, my favorite California coffee shop, digging into my work. I hear a noise—Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! It’s one of those tennis racquet-esque bug killers. A guy has entered the eatery and he’s going table to table selling the extermination devices.

Let me say that again: In a restaurant, a dude was trying to sell electric bug zappers.

Best part: The owner approached, asked him to leave—and he turned hostile. “Just give me one minute!” she said.

“You need to leave,” she responded.

“But,” he said, “I’m getting you business.”

This sentence made, literally, zero sense. But it’s so contextually delicious I’ll write it again. “But,” he said, “I’m getting you business.”

He left in a huff—no sales, no deceased insects.

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