Key We(s)t.

Photo on 12-26-14 at 2.20 PM

So earlier this afternoon … actually, just about an hour ago, the wife, son and I had lunch at the nearby Mongolian restaurant.

It’s a lovely place with excellent, healthy food. You place the ingredients in a wood bowl, bring them toward a stove and watch as two men cook it up. Yum. And affordable.

Once again, I digress. Emmett and I filled our bowls, then I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Emmett said he had to go, too, so together we walked into a small one-person bathroom. There was a single toilet and one of those long wall urinals. Sorta like this …

Screen Shot 2014-12-26 at 2.16.17 PM

Anyhow, Emmett peed first. Then, when he was done, I peed. I was wearing a gray-and-black sweatshirt I’d bought at Target about a year ago. It’s OK, but the pockets tend to be a bit loose. If you have something in them … say, your car keys, they are prone to …

PLOP!

My car keys fell into the urinal. The bottom. I immediately yelled, “Oh, no!” then stared at them for a second before reaching down. The urinal wasn’t overly wet, because everything drained out. But as I grabbed them, I did notice a small yellow droplet dangling. Actually, taunting.

“Ew,” I said.

“Ew.”

“Ew.”

“Ew.”

I washed them off with a soft warm water, then wet some toilet paper and washed them again. I asked Emmett whether he thought we should tell the wife, who was about to eat her lunch. “That’s probably not a good idea,” the son said.

He was right, so we returned without saying a word.

Meaning she’s learning about this whole thing right … about …

Now.

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