People I would vote for over Donald Trump


People I Would Vote for Over Donald Trump

(A serious list)

Hillary Clinton

Joe Biden

Jeb Bush

Marco Rubio

John Kasich

John Rocker

Any member of Menudo


Will Clark

Mary Tyler Moore

The guy in the Elmo Suit

The guy on 42nd Street in the Elmo Suit

My dad

My mom

My dead grandmother

The woman who used to live next door but had Alzheimer’s and was moved into a home

Rick Perry

Luke Perry

Former Los Angeles Ram quarterback Jeff Kemp

The clerk at my local CVS

Amy Adams

Ned Yost

The poop I made an hour ago

Norma, my wife’s 97-year-old grandmother

Norma, my cockapoo (named after my wife’s 97-year-old grandmother)

Jon Bon Jovi

Adam Lambert

Kanye West

My iPhone 6 (despite the awful upgrade)

The artist formerly known as Bruce Jenner

Sixto Lezcano

Pete Ladd

Any Starbucks barista I’ve ever met

Jimmy Carter

The Ghost of Gary Carter

Mookie Wilson

Eli Manning

The guy who picks his nose outside my son’s school

The boogers from his nose

Sly Stallone



Craig Mack

Really, anyone.

Leave a Reply