The greatest gift of all time


I am not a huge gift guy.

I mean, similar to most people, I enjoy being surprised with something cool, like nice headphones or a sweet Detroit Tigers cap. But, mostly, I prefer giving presents to receiving presents. It’s just … there’s something truly gratifying in witnessing the joy of another. I know that sounds corny, but I’m being sincere. Watching my kids open a cool package is far preferable to opening a cool package.

I digress.

A few hours ago I opened my front door and saw a large white envelope sitting on the mat. It was soft and sorta fluffy and looked a little like a pillow. It also had my name on the label. So I brought it inside and opened the contents as I was putting my son to bad.






I have two nephews, and they both kick ass. The older one, Jordan, is 16 and a high school junior. Although he lives in New York, I’m an annoying funcle and we chat pretty often. He’s always gotten my sense of humor and my weirdness, and that’s why—praise Jesus—he gifted me with the coolest thing of all time. You’re looking at it above—a full-body XL adult dinosaur pajama suit, warm and snug and fantastic by all measures.

Admittedly, I’ll likely regret posting the above photo when it’s used against me the next time I write something that’s poorly received.

But worry not—it’s the best gift ever. And I’m damn proud to wear it.



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