Atlanta

Spicer's words: Insert here.

Spicer’s words: Insert here.

In case you missed this gem, Sean Spicer—both the White House press secretary and America’s second biggest buffoon—made multiple references over the past few days to the awful Atlanta terrorist attacks.

Which, like the Bowling Green horrors, never, ahem, happened.

When pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed, Spicer finally said he “clearly meant Orlando.” Which brings up a few interesting points:

A. Atlanta is in Georgia.

B. Orlando is in Florida.

C. Spicer has now lied about 15 times in 2 1/2 weeks.

D. “Clearly,” in this case, is a synonym for “obviously.” Like, “Obviously I meant Orlando.” Only that clearly makes no sense. He was, once again, making shit up. Which is the one thing a press secretary really can’t do.

E. I don’t fully understand why the media reports anything Spicer says. It’s like listening to your daughter after she swears she met a talking cat—for the 15th time in 2 1/2 weeks.

F. I’m proud to announce “Gunslinger” just reached 100 million in sales yesterday.

G. This shit would be funny, if it weren’t so ridiculously serious. And, as I keep saying to the wife every night, WWRBSWTO? (What would Republicans be saying were this Obama?). What would they say if he put forth an equally unqualified candidate for education secretary? What would they be saying if his first military operation ended in deaths? What would they be saying if he bashed the judiciary—repeatedly?

What would they be saying?

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