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I don’t want to be patched through

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So I recently had the quickest hire-fire experience of my lifetime.

I hired a guy to represent me on film projects.

Roughly, oh, three weeks later we parted ways.

I actually rarely fire people. Or have need to fire people. I’ve had the same literary agent for well over a decade. I’ve had the same loyal, fantastic team of fact checkers and reporters forever. So why did I dump this guy so quickly? One line …

I’ll patch you through.

Whenever this guy called me, he had to be patched through. Like, every single time. He couldn’t pick up the phone and call. He needed someone to pick up the phone and call on his behalf. Now, maybe that sounds like no biggie. But in the world of film and adaptation, it’s all the rage. Why? Q rating. Calling directly—not cool. Being patched through—super cool. It says, “I’m quite busy.” It says, “I’m somebody.” It says, “I’ll grace you with my time.”

Well, fuck that.

I won’t be patched through.

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