My motherfucking dog

So we have a dog named Poppy.

She’s 6-months old, snuggly, warm, lovable and relatively well behaved.

That said, I’m pissed.

A few weeks ago, for Chanukah, I bought the wife an electric throw blanket. The woman is always cold and an absolute sucker for blankets. So I hit up the local Bed, Bath and Beyond and snagged this gem, for a relatively OK price.

Poppy proceeded to eat the cord, rendering the heating device useless.

I’ve spent the past 20 minutes searching the World Wide Webster for a replacement, and it doesn’t exist. Brookstone is a company in name only, electric blanket cords are the perfect games of the blanket world (aka: Almost impossible to snag) and now I’m sitting here, blogging out of frustration.

So, if anyone’s in the market for an electric blanket-cord eating dog who likes belly rubs and long walks on the beach, she’s yours … in exchange for your functioning cord.

Which, of course, does not exist.

PS …

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