Two days ago, Fox News’ Sean Hannity brought Eric Trump on as a guest, thereby resulting in the above slice of documented heaven.
I love this snippet in the way I love fresh blueberry muffins, a cold Coca Cola, the final episode of Happy Days and a Mr. T movie marathon, and I actually think it can ultimately serve as an important historical document filed under the heading: DON’T BE A BRAGGY DOUCHE IF YOU’VE NEVER ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO GO ON TELEVISION AND THREATEN FOLKS.
Or something like that.
I’m sure, when Eric Trump stood before the camera, he was flying high. Twelve cups of coffee down, maybe a (sniff, sniff) line or two. A quick handy from the wife. That gorgeous hunk of Hannity cooing sweet pudding pops into his ear piece.
Plus, the big rally was approaching! Hundreds of thousands of MAGA folks flying into Washington! Daddy as president and fighting to overturn the evil Dems! It’s Eric’s time to shine! Eric time!
So Eric went off …
“Tomorrow’s gonna tell you a lot about the country, because I can tell you Sean, any senator or any congressman that does not—meaning on this side—that does not fight tomorrow, I’m telling you, will not … their political career is over because the MAGA movement, it’s going nowhere. My father has created the greatest political movement in American history and I’m telling you they will get primaried the next time around and they will lose if they don’t stand up and show some backbone and show some conviction.”
That was less than 48 hours ago.
At this moment, #MAGA hats can be had for .99—and that price is plummeting on the quick. Donald Trump has been kicked off Instagram and Facebook. His cabinet members are jumping from the ship like little rat babies. There are calls for the president’s impeachment and his resignation. Those thoughts of a 2024 return? Dead. Thoughts of a Trump dynasty? Laughable. The president of the United States is literally hiding inside the White House, an empty tin of lugworms with only the hardened lugworm shit remaining.
And Eric Trump, unaccomplished boy wonder, can forever remember the day when he appeared on Hannity for the final time, promising the world while unknowingly burying his future.