JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

A stupid man

Tommy Tuberville is a freshman senator from Alabama.

He is a stupid man.

Tuberville’s claim to fame is being a former football coach and, in Alabama, Auburn’s former football coach. He was out of work and seemingly bored, and the Republican Party recruited him to run against Doug Jones, the moderate Democrat who sorta won the seat by a fluke (aka: The existence of Roy Moore).

So Tuberville ran—and won—by doing four things:

• Pledging complete loyalty to Donald Trump.

• Never debating Jones.

• Dropping a fair number of “Jesus” references.

• Saying almost nothing.

And now, because Alabama is Alabama, Tommy Tuberville is one of 100 United States senators. He is a bit regal looking, has a warm smile—and is, genuinely, uniquely, breathtakingly fucking stupid. If, per chance, you think I’m exaggerating, take earlier today. When he said this about the upcoming inauguration …

Yup. Why not delay, until the pandemic that Donald Trump has completely ignored improves?

Brilliant.