JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

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A simple man

In case you missed this, Donald Trump fucked the future of our planet today … in the name of making some coal miners happy. I wish that were an overstatement. It’s not. The orange puddle signed an executive order intended to roll back the majority of Barack Obama’s climate-change legacy.

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Let the robots have their vote (A guest post)

Today jeffpearlman.com welcomes a special guest blogger. Stanley Pearlman is a retired CPA, executive search guru and, most important, my dad. This is not a political discourse. But when conscientious citizens voted in November, they engaged in a process little changed in the past 200 years. In New York State, paper had

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Donald Trump won’t be throwing out the first pitch

Donald Trump is a maverick! Donald Trump plays by his own rules! Donald Trump doesn’t answer to anybody! Donald Trump … (A) Can’t throw a baseball four feet. (B) Is afraid of boos Those are the two reasons I can ponder for his refusal to throw out the first pitch

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When your congressman knowingly speaks to a bunch of hatemongers

My congressman here in California’s 48th District is Dana Rohrabacher. He’s a lifelong Republican, an unapologetic Trump supporter, a friend of Russia and a defender of traditional (aka: white) America. Two days ago, down by his home turf of Huntington Beach, Rohrabacher addressed a #MAGA March. He spoke for but a couple

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I will be dead

Last night I went to bed at about 1 o’clock. I plopped down, put my head on the pillow, then thought, “One day I’ll be dead.” The sentence would not evacuate my mind. “One day I’ll be dead.” “One day I’ll be dead.” “One day I’ll be dead.” “One day

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Oh, Erin …

Every now and then I’ll Google my hometown of Mahopac, N.Y., just to see what’s going down in the hood. Today’s results were, eh, interesting. The woman holding the ribbon in the above photograph is named Erin Meagher. She’s a 26-year-old Brewster, N.Y. resident who, until a few days ago,

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Dear GOP — listen to Donald Trump

This morning I woke up desperately hoping Republican congressmen push forth Donald Trump’s Obamacare replacement plan. Why? Because the only way to truly expose a conman is by subjecting him to the light. And, for the millions of Americans who still consider this 45th president to be legitimate, there needs

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Props to Thomas Massie

There is a Kentucky congressman named Thomas Massie, and I agree with him on almost nothing. Massie is staunchly pro-life and pro-gun. He’s v-e-r-y fiscally conservative and against states adopting federal education standards. He backed Keystone, is against funding renewable energy (odd for a smart man who graduated from MIT),

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Missing Richard Simmons

For those who read this blog with any regularity, you might know that last year I spent months working on a Bleacher Report piece on Brooks Melchior, the former sports website guru who—poof!—went missing and never returned. I chased down 100 different leads, traveled all over Southern California, knocked on

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Please take my memory test (a guest blog post)

Nelson Dellis was the 59th Quaz and a good guy. He needs your help … Last thing I remember about Jeff Pearlman interviewing me was him asking me if I’d open for Celine Dion for $10 million dollars, singing a sympathetic Nazi song. That, my friends, is how you make

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