ohio state

Urban Meyer and a Gross Lack of Perspective

Screen Shot 2013-08-26 at 10.36.04 PMAccording to a Fox Sports Ohio report, Urban Meyer—head football coach at The* Ohio State University—does not allow anyone wearing blue to attend his team’s practices. Recently at least two NFL scouts, who had the nerve to wear Michigan’s color while catching practices at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center, were ordered to change or leave. Several Buckeye players supposedly shouted at the scouts, too.

In one word: Lame.

In three words: Get a life.

Really, I mean that—get a life. Are you 8, stalking the playground, trying to pick a fight? Is that what passes for a motivational tactic in Columbus, Ohio? Are your players so mentally flaccid that they require this sort of junior high nonsense to gear up for the season? Is Ohio State this pathetic and sad?

Answer: Yes.

I can imagine the scene; some leathery 60-something NFL scout on campus to watch hotshot quarterback or star halfback. He’s standing along the sideline, yet another collegiate visit in three-plus decades of collegiate visits. Suddenly, a shout from behind …

“Hey, dude!”

Wha?

“Dude! Yeah, you—in the blue?”

It’s Eli Apple, the team’s freshman cornerback. The same Eli Apple who was born in 1996. The same Eli Apple who buys the nonsense.

“Dude! Change your shirt or get outta here? We’re Ohio State, baby! The big O!”

Glub.

This is the genre of garbage that gives collegiate sports a bad name. It provides XXXXL self-importance to an endeavor (football) that ranks right behind nasal hair discharging on the world essential list. It turns Meyer into the Jonestown-esque cult leader he aspires to be; the unbending, unyielding provider of all truths. It brigs forth the Us vs. You attitude that, though it *might* help win football games, turns young men into brainless followers, eager to comply sans thought.

* It is impossible not to sound like an undeserved pretentious moron referring to your sub-mediocre, lets-in-pretty-much-anyone-with-a-pulse college as “The Ohio State University.” I attended “The University of Delaware”—a merely OK college that dwarfs Ohio State in all areas but athletics. Even if UD was known as The UD, I’d never be dolt enough to call it such.