I’m now officially within one month of the release of “Boys Will Be Boys,” and my emotions are very, well, scattered.
First, there’s excitement. You work on something like this for more than two years; dig and dig and dig and dig into a subject, piece together interviews and old articles and points from various books. It’s one of those things that’s both hellish and joyful, and by the time you’re done you just wanna take a 200-hour nap. So to have it all come together … it’s exciting. Plus, while many people in my position (myself included) tend to whine aloud over having to do book signings and 800 radio interviews and local TV and so forth, it’s actually awfully fun, and something of an ego boost. People are paying to buy your product, and listening to what you say. Hell, how often does that happen?
Second, there’s fear. My first book, “The Bad Guys Won,” exceeded all sales expectations. What started out as a little book on the ’86 Mets wound up becoming a best-seller. I had no reason to think that might happen, and it had the unfortunate impact of raising my expectation bar. So when my second book, “Love Me, Hate Me,” semi-bombed, I was crushed. Absolutely, positively crushed. It’s not even that it sold all that terriblyâ€”it didn’t. But “The Bad Guys Won” success had me thinking, “Hell, if a book on the ’86 Mets did well, surely Barry Bonds will do even better.” Uh, wrong. And having “Game of Shadows” come out two weeks earlier certainly didn’t help things.
Third, there’s anguish. What if people hate it? What if it sucks? What if I’ve written a piece of crap? To be honest, when you lock yourself in a room and work, work, work on something to the point of becoming a mini-hermit, you’re not always the best judge of quality. You have people who you trust read it, too, but are they being 100% truthful, or nice? Who the hell knows?
Point is, the book is coming out soon. And I’mâ€”to go old schoolâ€”buggin’.