… is the NBA All-Star Weekend Celebrity Baseball Game, which combines …
â€¢ An annoying ESPN “talent” like Stu Scott living out his wettest dream of mingling with half-his-age NBA superstars as they watch from courtside seats.
â€¢ Fat former NBA stars like Dominique Wilkins, whose nickname has been changed from “The Human Highlight Film” to “The Human Donut Eater.”
â€¢ Token WNBA players like Lisa Leslie, who lost any remaining trace of dignity by screaming at the official over a bad call alongside Chris Tucker and Donald Faison.
â€¢ Four members of the Harlem Globetrotters, who are so famous that nobody seemed to know their full names.
â€¢ Terrell Owens.
This wasn’t just bad TVâ€”it was baaaaaaaaad TV. Surely, ESPN had something more crucial to air. Like air.