JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Should Michael Jackson Get His Own National Holiday?

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So there’s a poll going around Facebook, asking whether Michael Jackson warrants his own national holiday.

I know … I know—it’s only Facebook, self-indulgent land of HERE ARE MY 15 FAVORITE CDs and HOW MANY FRIENDS CAN I LASSO?

But, really, this whole Michael Jackson thing has gone waaaaay too far. The man died more than two weeks ago. He was a wonderful talent, singularly responsible for—along with The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill—my favorite CD of all-time (Thriller). He could dance, he could sing, he could influence fashion. I’ll even agree that he was the latest Elvis. Not exactly the same, but at least in a similar boat.

But a national holiday? Michael Jackson Day?

In my head, I have a list of Americans who deserve days more than Michael Jackson. Here are five:

Brian Sipe.

Anson Williams.

Lucille Bliss (the voice of Smurfette).

Miriam Cohen, my neighbor.

Anyone with a last name that rhymes with an embarrassing word and has to suffer with such throughout childhood. (Quick story: My mom’s maiden name is Herz, pronounced Her-tz. When she was a kid, peers would ask, “How’s your cousin Dick?”)

Michael Jackson doesn’t deserve a holiday. He barely deserved his Staples Center memorial service. Well, deserves is the wrong word. I hated that service. Loathed it. Incredibly over the top, and, then, to have his bawling daughter speak … uhg. Represented everything I despise about celebrity and showbiz; the need for everyone to wear their sadness on their sleeves.

Oy.