JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

The Dermatologist: Self-esteen slayer to the greatest degree

2646

Had my annual appointment with the dermatologist a few minutes ago. Nice woman. Named Ellen. Works out of Tuckahoe.

“Your skin doesn’t look so good,” she said.

“No?”

“No, not at all.”

“Really?”

“Really. You have bumps along the back of your scalp. You have a small amount of acne on your shoulders. Have you thought about using a facial wash twice a day? Are you concerned about that mole on your waist.”

“On my waist?”

“Yup—right there.”

“Oh, I hadn’t noticed.”

“Also, the wrinkles on your forehead are starting to …”

Cost me $100.

I need a drink.