Things that I loathe

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On the long drive home from upstate, I made a partial list (Would love to hear yours—as long as it doesn’t include, “The writing of Jeff Pearlman”): 🙂

People who wear sunglasses indoors. Indianapolis. Egg beaters. Cell phones at the dinner table. Ball hogs. Traffic. Long lines. Littering. Thoughtless e-mails. Shoveling the driveway. Fine Young Cannibals. Steve Winwood. Gnat swarms. The name “Jason.” Irrational sports fans. The hair that grows on the back of my neck. Anchovies. Olympic gymnastics. Youth sports coaches (the crazy ones). Beige. The movie “AI.” Right-wing Republicanism. Stuart Scott and Chris Berman (not the men, just their acts). Writers who think our jobs are important. The adjective “courageous” to describe a novel. Being edited. Jessica Simpson, her sister and her father. Most reality TV. When I do a radio interview to promote a book and the host begins by saying, “Joe, I haven’t read the book, but …” Being a hypochondriac. My mother’s homemade lasagna. The majority of cats. Public bathrooms. Water glasses with lipstick stains. Mitt Romney. “Maneater” by Hall & Oates. The Richard Todd Era of Jets football. Sticky floors.

5 thoughts on “Things that I loathe”

  1. -Skateboarding
    -Rock without the roll
    -Rural people that pretend they’re urban
    -Bud Light and people that drink it
    -Denim
    -Los Angeles Dodgers
    -Los Angeles
    -When people drive drunk
    -Feeble attempts at irony
    -Personal failure
    -The Eagles
    -Clear liquor
    -Socks with the seam right across the toes
    -Cliche hardcore breakdowns
    -Having to wear all black every goddamn day
    -People that do meth
    -Cottage cheese
    -People named ‘Carlos Mencia’ or ‘Toby Keith’
    -That first fifteen minutes of waking up

  2. individuals driving without their lights on in the fog or in rainy weather. Individuals driving with their lights on hi beam and heading towards you. inconsiderate and rude people. smelly wet dogs. smelly feet. anything containing eggplant. pasta. individuals who do not know when they have had enough alcohol to drink and either become mean, get sick or drive under the influence. cigarettes, chain smokers and especially those with copd taking off their oxygen masks to go smoke (because members of my family have migraines). individuals condemning others without knowing the circumstances of their actions. individuals without compassion or empathy for others. liars and thieves. conceited individuals. greed. lilacs (beautiful to look at; however, i hate that the smell because they give me headaches). snakes, spiders and bugs.

  3. American Idol
    The deification of Tiger Woods
    Overuse of the word “heroes”
    Limbaugh, Hannity, Coulter, O’Reilly
    Ignorance
    Hypocrisy
    Being fat and getting old
    The demise of newspapers
    Infomercials
    Religion in politics
    Intelligent design
    Temperatures in excess of 95 degrees
    Wall Street bonuses
    Too many “analysts” in sports media
    (one is too many)
    Insurance companies

  4. tucson and anything else remotely associated with u of a…arrogance…politics that leaves common sense behind, by either party…argumentative or contrarian people…All the Real World shows from Vegas onward…So you think you can dance…Dr. Phil…Suze Orman…the impossibility of keeping a kid young.

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