Kanye and Taylor


So I must admit, I watched a few minutes of the MTV Video Music Awards two nights ago (sadly, I missed the video above), until I thought of all the things that were more worthy of my time.

Here’s a list of 10:

1. Wrap 100 rubber bands around my throat and see what happens.

2. Watch the original Star Trek movie and count the number of times William Shatner sucks in his gut.

3. Listen to Hall & Oates’ H2O backward to gain instructions from the devil on how my lightbulbs want to kill the birds outside my window.

4. Dance like I’ve never danced before.

5. Download the audio of Oprah’s riveting interview with Whitney Houston.

6. Do a Google search for “Farting Ostrich” and see what comes up.

7. Call Emmanuel Lewis (I have his number somewhere) and invite him over for tea.

8. Eat mounds and mounds of chocolate.

9. Reunite with John Rocker and form a Styx tribute band.

10. Watch a tape of last year’s VMAs.

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