Catherine and I were married in 2002. Because she is—at heart—a woman (ha!), Catherine really wanted me to send our information into the New York Times‘ weddings announcement section. You probably know what I’m talking about—the back few pages of Sunday Style, where little bios are written, alongside photos of two people rubbing heads. Here’s the one for my friend Mike Lewis, just for example’s sake.

Anyhow, I really, really, really didn’t want to be in there, so I did nothing. And Catherine was mad. Not pissed-off mad, but irked. All these years later, i stand strong in my no-go.

This is a long, rambling way of saying that last night on the toilet, I was reading the current wedding’s section. I was especially smitten by the one for Alicia Lowery and Eric Rosenbaum, who were wed Saturday evening at the Yale Club in New York (Rabbi Jeffrey J. Sirkman performed the ceremony, in case you’re wondering).

Based on the photo, Alicia and Eric look perfect for one another. Heads slightly nodded, big smiles. I really think they’ll be very happy together.

And yet … in the Times’ weddings section, you are required to confirm if you’ve been married before. And Eric has been—uh, twice. Which certainly doesn’t mean his new marriage won’t last. Hell, judging by the photograph, Eric and Alicia will have great times together. But it does beg a different question: If you were about to be married for a third time, would you really want a Times’ announcement? Wouldn’t you say to the wife (a la Big in the wretched Sex in the City movie), “Maybe we can play this one a little low-key?”

You know—I just looked at the announcement again. Not only is it there—it’s looooong. Really long. Details of how they first met, and that initial smooch (“He kissed me at the door, and it changed everything!”) and a long weekend together on Shelter Island.

Again: Nothing wrong with love, and I hope it works out. But I didn’t want a wedding announcement for my first wedding.

For a third? No way.

PS: Related to nothing—here’s a fascinating look at farting.