American Idol: Season Crap

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Just got done watching American Idol with The Wife.

Unlike past years, this season’s episodes have barely existed on my radar. I’ve probably seen the show three times, and the only performer I know by name is Casey James, and only because my daughter is also a Casey.

So what has happened for American Idol to lose my support? First off, I’m bored. The judges bore me, the song choices bore me (If I hear some 18-year-old white kid from Springfield, Mo. butcher Aretha one more time, I’m going to vomit on my Randy Jackson collectable pillow case), the format bores me. With each passing year, the program sounds more and more like karaoke to me. Just blah, blah, blah.

Which leads to me second issue: This year’s cast sucks. There’s one phenomenal singer (Crystal Bowersox—who can truly belt), and the rest of the performers range from slightly above adequate to local high school theatre production of Grease. Lately one of the judges (Cara is her name, I think), keeps urging one of the singers to return to the “singer-songwriter” ways of earlier in the program. Which is odd—because to excell on American Idol, you have to be a cover crooner.

I know people retired the phrase “Jumping the Shark” eons ago, but Idol truly has jumped the shark. It’s stale and old and unoriginal, and I’ll be pretty psyched when it vanishes …

… in 2043.

PS: This might be the worst performance in the show’s history. Pearlman-esque.

6 thoughts on “American Idol: Season Crap”

  1. I think that you hit the nail on the head when you talk about the judges:

    1. Randy sucks but he’s always sucked. He talks in his fake ebonics, throws his hands around and calls it a segment.

    2. I’m not impressed with Ellen. She’s boring, she’s not particularly funny and I’m not sure what she brings to the table in terms of music knowledge. Perhaps she bought a CD once, I don’t know.

    3. Cara is ok and has improved from last year. I think that she was set up to be Simon’s foil, which brings us to …

    4. Simon. The dude doesn’t care and like some of the cast members has senioritis in the worst way. He’s going to be doing his own show in a few months, why does he care about this show? It’s obvious that he’s counting the weeks down, saying his Simon things and entering into half-hearted debates with Cara.

    Another problem is that when the judges have nothing to say they tell the singers to “go outside their comfort zone and take a chance.” When the singers take that advice to heart and do that, they get ripped for it.

    If you think about it, it’s crazy to take career advice from Journey’s replacement bassist, a second-tiered comedian and a svengali who was able to get a few bands to conquer Europe, but can’t get the break in America. I guess Cara has something of a music pedigree, but she’s not infallable.

    Jesus, I wrote quite a lot about a show that I barely watch.

  2. I figured this was inevitable mainly due to diminishing returns. Wouldn’t all of the truly talented singers have already tried out by now? I don’t think you can replenish the pipeline so quickly.

  3. I am in an American Idol fantasy league (shut up) and each week we have to pick who’s going to get kicked off. Last week, I happened to see the song list before I watched the show. I immediately sent in my vote for Paige. NO ONE survives singing “Against All Odds” on that show. Ever. Especially not her …

    That said, I thought there were two performances THIS WEEK that were even worse. One was Didi’s “What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted” which, thankfully, got her the boot …

    The other, in apparently my unique opinion, was Lee’s “Treat Her Like A Lady.” I think if you played it for all of the Cornelius Brothers AND their Sister Rose, none would have recognized it as their old hit. I actually felt sorry for him at first … I thought, “OMG he completely forgot how the song goes and is making it up as he goes along.” And he sounded like a cat in heat who was simultaneously being castrated without anesthesia.

    Then the four judges combined in putting on the kneepads and giving him the biggest group Hoover in show history for his amazing, fantastic, life-changing performance.

    As Meredith Grey would say, “SERIOUSLY???”

  4. Oh by the way? Love the old school picture. Melinda Doolittle was the best female singer in the show’s history, Crystal included. And Brandon Rogers was booted way too soon.

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