JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

American Idol: Season Crap

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Just got done watching American Idol with The Wife.

Unlike past years, this season’s episodes have barely existed on my radar. I’ve probably seen the show three times, and the only performer I know by name is Casey James, and only because my daughter is also a Casey.

So what has happened for American Idol to lose my support? First off, I’m bored. The judges bore me, the song choices bore me (If I hear some 18-year-old white kid from Springfield, Mo. butcher Aretha one more time, I’m going to vomit on my Randy Jackson collectable pillow case), the format bores me. With each passing year, the program sounds more and more like karaoke to me. Just blah, blah, blah.

Which leads to me second issue: This year’s cast sucks. There’s one phenomenal singer (Crystal Bowersox—who can truly belt), and the rest of the performers range from slightly above adequate to local high school theatre production of Grease. Lately one of the judges (Cara is her name, I think), keeps urging one of the singers to return to the “singer-songwriter” ways of earlier in the program. Which is odd—because to excell on American Idol, you have to be a cover crooner.

I know people retired the phrase “Jumping the Shark” eons ago, but Idol truly has jumped the shark. It’s stale and old and unoriginal, and I’ll be pretty psyched when it vanishes …

… in 2043.

PS: This might be the worst performance in the show’s history. Pearlman-esque.