JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Grosser than gross

So this is really gross.

Was just in an ice cream shop, Last Licks, in Rye Brook, N.Y. I come here, to this little strip shopping center, in between teaching my classes at Manhattanville. I write in Starbucks, dine at Chipotle, and sometimes get a $1.50 bag of varied candy at Last Licks.

So I’m standing in the store, scooping up some sweetness, when I accidentally drop a piece on the floor. I look down and lying there, between my legs, is a dead little mouse, his body squashed, his red-and-yellow guts resting alongside his corpse. I turned to the clerk and said, “Uh, there’s a dead mouse here.”

His response was quite odd: “Did you step on it?”

Uh … no.

The follow-up was even more odd. He swept it up, but left a streak of guts on the floor. No mop, no watery towels. Just a broom, a mouse corpse and me, holding my bag. Maybe he got back to it after I left. Not sure.

Ew.

Discover more from JEFF PEARLMAN

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading