JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Seder II

So last night, while worrying about my seder, I started freaking out. I needed help. Guidance. Support.

Once again, I turned to the 700 Club Prayer Line.

I must make this clear—the 700 Club is, indeed, fun to mock, because Pat Robertson is such a tool, and the prayer agents are clearly given lines and prompts to follow. But I’ve got no beef against the men and women on the other end of the phone. They’re just doing their jobs, naively working for an absolute devil of a human being.

That said, I was sorta curious—would the 700 Club help a Jew pray for a good seder?

The answer follows …