Today is my 39th birthday.

This is weird, because I don’t feel 39. Actually, I should say “this is weird … to me.” Because how many people actually feel their ages? And what does it even mean to feel one’s age? Once we pass, oh, 30, we always say, “I don’t feel X.” But how do we know what X actually feels like? Maybe 39 feels 39, which feels like 30, which feels like 25? Who the hell knows?

What I do know is this: I’m lucky. Beyond lucky. I was thinking about my life the other day, in the context of all these investment people who’ve bilked the public for billions of dollars. Give the choice, between being one of the bilkers (with the requisite yacht, BMW, vacation home, etc) and me, well, I take me. I love my wife. I love my kids. I love writing, and I love having a book on Ken O’Brien coming out in a matter of months. There are rarely days that I don’t look forward to. I’ll go to bed tonight psyched about tomorrow. I’ll go to bed tomorrow psyched about the next day. And I don’t bilk people. Ever.

Obviously, I use this blog to talk often and openly about death. I fear death, and go through lengthy stretches of being preoccupied by it. But I’d be 1,000 times less concerned about dying were I not so in love with life. That’s the catch of it all—hate life, accept death. Love life—want it to last forever.

I digress. Great birthday, great life. I’m blessed.

PS: A few random thoughts:

A. Was in Buffalo recently. Greg and Jill Murray bought us a 12-pack of something called PJ’s Crystal Beach Loganberry. It’s a drink that, literally, tastes like a Sno-Cone. In a word: Disgusting. But very kind of them to give it a shot …

B. Have started reading the new Malcolm X biography, by the late Manning Marable. Mixed emotions. The Autobiography of Malcolm X is one of my all-time favorite books, and this bio sort of dismisses that as being, well, full of shit. On the other hand, truth is truth is truth …

C. Love that the federal government is investigating whether the University of Delaware was righteous in its cutting of men’s track and cross country.

D. I was fascinated by those readers who seemed to enjoy pointing out that this week’s Quaz didn’t—in their minds—live up to past editions. I’m just wondering: Why? Why would you say that? To insult me? To insult Donald? I get criticism. But sometimes, it seems like it exists just to exist. No offense. Just saying.

8 thoughts on “39”

  1. Happy Birthday.

    Ken O’Brien?? That’s awesome. He would have been a great quarterback if he hadn’t been offered up for human sacrifice by his offesnive line.

    As it is, he was pretty good when he had protection.

  2. Jeff, Happy birthday..I am glad you are enjoying life and the family, that is what it is all about. I enjoy your writing work. I agree maybe half the time, but your passion and willingness to have an opinion impresses me. I typically dont comment, but this one has moved me enough to write. I work as an “investment people” and I havent bilked anyone.
    I have helped companies get funding for HIV research. I have helped companies raise money to expand solar technology. I have even helped companies raise money to make the internet faster, your network safer and data, such as your blog, shared more easily. On these capital raises, there are weeks of planning and round the clock work days when execution takes place. I coordinate transactions with hundreds of clients involved who are interested in investing in Corporate america.
    I work hard, sadly, there are work weeks where I may not get home at night in time to see my kids.
    For this hard work, I receive compensation. I sleep at night feeling that I have earned my pay. I think generalizations are always a bad thing. I would think you who analyzes life on a daily basis would realize that words like always and never and stereotyping a group of individuals is ALWAYS a mistake.
    My take on reading this is you are trying to justify why people around you are compensated more than you or have possessions that you are interested in but do not have. That being said, you have something that you did say, in my opinion, does outrank all physical possessions. You have a life you love living and you wake up doing something you love. That should be enough. No need to compare and contrast.

    It’s your birthday, you are happy, that is plenty. Happy Birthday

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