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JEFF PEARLMAN

Odds: 0

Saw this hanging up in a nearby town earlier tonight.

Odds of the Clippers winning the 2011-12 NBA title? Slim.

Odds of Bobby Brown making a Top 40 comeback? Next to none.

Odds of Pudding returning home? I’ve gotta say … zero.

I’m not making fun. Losing a pet sucks. But I just can’t imagine someone spotting Pudding in, oh, a nearby tree, whistling a few bars of Air Supply and having Pudding gently fly atop a finger. Maybe I’m wrong; maybe birds work in mysterious ways. But, if I had to guess, I’m thinking right now Pudding is either:

1. Chilling with a bunch of birds, thrilled to be free from the cage of hell.

2. Inside a snake’s stomach.

Oh, well.

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