JEFF PEARLMAN

JEFF PEARLMAN

Four upcoming events

Well, they’re finally letting me show my face in Chicago. And New York. Which, of course, isn’t such a big thing, being that I live here and all. But I will be doing four Sweetness promotional appearances over the next month.

Here they are:

Gelf’s Varsity Letters Sports Reading Series

Where: Le Poisson Rouge

158 Bleecker St. (between Sullivan St. and Thompson St.)

New York City

When: Thursday, November 3

Time: 7:30 PM

Manny’s on Second Monday Night Football Gala Supernova of Love (I invented the name)

Where: 1770 2nd Ave

New York City

When: Monday, November 7

Time: 7 PM

Anderson’s Bookshop Signing/Discussion

Where: Anderson’s Bookshop

123 West Jefferson

Naperville, IL 60540

When: November 28

Time: 7 pm

KAM Isaiah Israel Synagogue Discussion/Signing

• Where: 1100 E. Hyde Park Blvd.

Chicago

When: November 30

• Time: TBD

•••

Now, here’s the truth: Events scare the crap out of me. Not confrontations or heated conversations. No, what always worries me are the crickets. The sound of crickets, as an empty room and a stack of books greets you to hell. Like most authors, I’ve had my share of bad events over the years. The most noteworthy probably came in the aftermath of Boys Will Be Boys. I was in Dallas, and HarperCollins sent me to Ft. Hood, the country’s largest military base. I imagined a room filled with soldiers; Cowboy fans; etc. Well, I arrive and they lead me to the front of their very own Target-type store. Over the PA system I hear, “Attention shoppers—JEFF PEARLMAN WILL BE SIGNING HIS NEW BOOK AT THE FRONT OF THE STORE! JEFF PEARLMAN WILL BE SIGNING HIS NEW BOOK AT THE FRONT OF THE STORE!” There was, literally, a pile of 200 books.

In four hours, I signed (I think) four.

Humiliating.

The worst are the sympathetic stares and meandering conversations from passers-by. They know you’re pathetic. You know you’re pathetic. So they talk to you, solely out of pity. Glub.

Help!