JEFF PEARLMAN

Romney

Governor Romney, the new jobs report is in.

“Oh, really?”

Yes, and the news is terrible.

“Terrible good or terrible bad?”

How do you mean?

“Well, is the news terrible for Americans, or terrible for me?”

Uh …

“What I mean is, are Americans struggling? Are they really, really struggling?”

Yes, sir. They are.

“That’s fantastic!”

But, sir …

“Yes?”

They’re struggling.

“Oh, yes, sure, yes. I know. That’s very upsetting.”

So why are you smiling?

“Because the unemployment rate’s at 8.2 percent!”

Sir, two of my sons are unemployed.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I genuinely am.”

But you’re smiling?

“It’s not a smile. It’s a, eh, look of concern.”

That’s an odd way of looking concerned.

“OK, to hell with it. I’m smiling!”

 

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