Why the f$#@ do we keep getting this?

The Wife said to me a while ago, “I have a blog post you should write.”

I ignored her, moved on, walked the dog, returned from the frigid cold with the new copy of the Yellow Pages, which rested in our yard. “Look at this useless shit,” I said to her.

“Yes!” she replied. “That’s the blog post! Please!”

So here it is. The Yellow Pages are obsolete. Beyond obsolete. It’s as if someone dropped off an Atari 2600. Or a rotary phone. Or a new pair of legwarmers. They belong to a bygone age’s bygone age. There’s this thing, you see, called the Information Superhighway. Where, if someone wants, say, the phone number for the local pizza joint, they look up The Google. It’s all there! Really! Amazingly!

The Yellow Pages piss me off, because trees are cool, and Lord knows how many die so that Richard Weiss Esq can run his advertisement on the cover, and so I can page to turn 81 and find all the local debt consolidation joints, and so I can, quite literally, remove the Yellow Pages from the Yellow Bag and deposit it, immediately, in our big recycle bin.

I know … I’m babbling.

It just sucks.

10 thoughts on “Why the f$#@ do we keep getting this?”

  1. Before you call something useless & obsolete, try doing some research. You should know about research, right? Yellow Pages actually work. Millions of small to medium sized businesses depend on the leads we generate for them. BTW, Our company uses recycled content and waste wood chips (from other wood products) to produce our book. NO TREES DIE in the production of our product. For somebody who complains about those who are critical of your books without reading them, I truly know how you feel now.

    1. Craig, I understand you work for the Yellow Pages but—to 95% of society—they ARE useless and obsolete. And a waste of resources. Here’s an idea—instead of dumping them in people’s yards, ask first who wants them. Why won’t Yellow Pages do so? Because almost no one wants a copy—and that fact would kill advertising and circ rates.

      1. It would be a waste of resources if the government did it, this is just people conducting business. Spending money to make money. If they sat on the couch waiting for the government to use that recycled paper to send them a check THAT would be a waste of resources.

      2. OK, let’s go back to the research piece again – How much research did you do to come up with that “95% of society” statistic? That came out of the “thin air folder,” on your kitchen table, right? That’s like me saying 95% of society have found that when sportswriters comment on anything other than sports, it comes out as jibberish. My point is that I can provide you REAL statistics (call volumes, leads, sales, etc.) generated by the Yellow Pages. When you say, “waste of resources,” tell that to the person who needs a plumber really fast, one that has a 24 hour service and will be there in less than an hour. By providing the book you hate so much, free of charge to people who use it, we promote the local businesses you claim to want to support. Very few local businesses have the ability or resources to effectively use the internet as their main sales channel (less than 40% of the businesses in the US even have a working website). So, what’s left? Businesses who buy advertising in the Yellow Pages do so because they know it works, that people who use the Yellow Pages are ready to buy. If you don’t wish a phone book, feel free to opt-out at http://www.yellowpagesoptout.com. or there probably are instructions in the book on how to opt-out of that particular company’s distribution. You can join the 3-4% of our customers in the US who have, in fact, opted out (and that is an actual, not made-up, statistic). If you need help, let me know. I’d be glad to help walk you through it…

      3. Craig, I opted out myself. See, I be smart after all.
        Also, 95% was obviously–obviously—a created number, not a stat. That said, I understand your anger. You’re the equivalent of the newspaper editor saying, “Hey, our circ is still at 130,000! People still want us!”

      4. Pretty sure Yellowbook realizes not many people use it anymore. Hence, why they’re slowly getting rid of it in markets everywhere.

  2. Jeff
    Much more than 95% use the book.
    My sister is financially able to afford what she wants. What she wants is dial up and AOL.
    I’ve learned I cannot send her anything other than a simple email video’s are impossible.
    Her kids have tried. Her son has a good position at Intel – couldn’t convert her. She prefers the simple life.
    I used to think that only the older generation was like that and she is 67 but I also know several younger folk that just don’t want to waste their time with computers and the internet.
    Different strokes for different folks.

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