JEFF PEARLMAN

Coming October 2022: "The Last Folk Hero: The Life and Myth of Bo Jackson"

Is Life Just Sorta Dull?

While watching yesterday’s Super Bowl halftime show, it hit me, “Fuck, life sure is boring.”

I mean, there I was, supposedly witnessing THE GREATEST SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!—thinking, “Ho-hum.” I mean, there was Beyonce, gorgeous and sexy and scantily dressed, rolling around a stage, watched by millions—and I’m thinking, “Ho-hum.” It’s the REUNION OF DESTINY’S CHILD! DESTINY’S CHILD IS BACK! YES!!! BACK!—and I’m thinking, “Ho-hum.”

So is life just sorta dull?

When I ponder this deeper, I actually flip it over. Yes, I found the whole thing awfully dull (plastic songs, plastic vocals, plastic moves). But what does it say about humanity that so many didn’t? What does it say that, in the days leading up to Super Bowl Sunday, Beyonce and Destiny’s Child were all over the dang news? What does it say that so many debated the halftime show choice? Well, Madonna was pretty good. Well, we can’t have a Janet-nipple thing again. Well …

Are we this bored … this in need of our time to be occupied? I mean, craps, one can watch thousands of hours of Beyonce with a simple YouTube visit. Not one of the performed songs was new; none of the dance steps were original. We all know the people rushing the stage had already rehearsed rushing the stage. We all know the gig had been practiced and practiced.

So why do we care?

Because we’re bored out of our fucking minds.