Strange Conversations About Tampa Strip Clubs

I tend to jabber a lot, which leads to many strange, awkward and uncomfortable conversations. Like, for example, the one I had two minutes ago at the cash register inside the nearby Atlanta Bread Company.

I approached the check-out guy, who looked at me and said, “Sweet hat.”

I had to look. So I took of my  hat, and it was this one.

Me: “Thanks,” I said. “You like the Bucs?”

Him: “Well, I’m from Tampa.”

Me: “Oh, you know what’s interesting about Tampa? It’s like, the strip-club capital of America.”

As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I thought, “Not a good way to end this.” So I continued.

Me: “Not that I go to strip clubs. Or went. I just used to go to Tampa a lot for work, and you’d see the billboards everywhere …”

I’d officially entered blathering territory. Never a good place to be.

Me: “I mean, you have to admit, Tampa does have a lot of str—”

Him: “Here’s your coffee. Have a great day.”

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